Turning the Tables

06 Sep 2011 1 Comment

by straddletheline in daily trials & tribulations Tags: a day in the life, why am i doing this

I had a really amazing experience this afternoon on my way home from work. It’s the moments like these that keep me going when the weight of my life or my job weigh extra heavy. For the past few days I have been in a bit of a funk. Whenever that happens I question whether or not this is the right place for me right now. If it was in fact the best choice continuing on and transitioning from a volunteer to a full-time employee. Moments like today confirm that in fact yes, I am supposed to be here.

The last year of my life was a roller coaster. Not just because it gets depressing living in poverty, although I am sure that had a large role as well. But because the last year was a huge growing experience for me. I moved away from someone I loved to a town where I knew nobody. And not just the next town over. I moved 1,500 miles away. I rebuilt a support system from scratch. Last year was the first time I lived on my own (aside from my furry roommates). Those experiences alone would be hard on your average functioning adult, but I managed to do it on $800 a month. And that $800 didn’t leave a lot of room for any retail therapy when life had gotten me down. Now I am not saying I deserve a medal or anything, because there were a lot of fun times too. I formed a friendship that I will probably keep forever, and I do hope so because her future career choice will come in handy if I ever find myself in trouble with the law But I digress.

There were fun times. However, lately I find I am rebuilding my support system up again. My friends have moved away, I am no longer a part of the “volunteering community” as I am not in that program anymore. I have taken it upon myself to join a team sport which helps me meet new people and get out of the house. But there are still times when I get back in that funk, lonely, and questioning whether or not I made the right choice. I have come to embrace my aloneness. Living alone is something that should be experienced by everyone before they die. But it doesn’t mean that some nights I don’t wish to come home to dinner already made, a good conversation, and a hug.

So I was having one of those days, it likely emanating from my funk-weekend. Thinking about how life choices got me here and if those choices had been the right ones. I had to stop at the auto parts store because one of my tires had an ever increasing leak and I wanted something to tide me off until I could buy a new to me tire. I decided to mix the potion with air so I could get the tire pumped up a bit. Well I had quite the time putting the Fix A Flat in. The can basically shot all OVER the tire and not inside it. In my frustration I began cursing up a storm that even a sailor would find offensive. Once I was happy that some of the toxic mixture had made it inside the actual tire I went inside to go wash off the excess from my hands. Just as I am about to enter the gas station I run into a client of mine and he asks me what I am doing there. I explain to him and he tells me those cans are a waste of money. Then he reminds me that he helps out at a tire shop during the week. He will get me a good deal he says. They have new AND used tires. So he meets me back at my car once I have washed the extra Fix a Flat off my hands, and he does whatever he was doing inside. We write down the tire size and he assures me he will call me tomorrow with a good price. We talked a little bit about his situation, it has been a few weeks since I have seen him last, and I promise to do some follow up calls for him in regards to a supportive service. The whole ride home I giggle and smile at the fact that the tables have turned and my client is now helping ME. And I have never been so grateful to have been helped in my life.

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